The Best TeeBall Team Ever!
by HolliiiCruiser
Summary: When Bella is wrangled into coaching Jessica's teeball team for a night, Edward and Alice help out too. What could possibly go wrong? HEE HEE! You just have to know, don't you? :
1. Chapter 1

Another pointless and random Twilight drabble from my wonderful (or corrupt) mind! Hope you like!

Bella pulled the bright orange team shirt over her head, and yanked the matching ball cap over her ponytail. How had she let Jessica talk her into this? Oh yes, now she remembered! It had all started today at school.

**FLASHBACK! LOL! SO DRAMATIC! **

_Edward, Bella, and Alice were all sitting at the lunch table when Jessica slunk up behind them. _

_"Hiya, Bella! What's going on?" She plopped herself down across from Bella, ignoring Edward's raised eyebrow and dirty look, and smiled hugely at her. Bella was taken aback; she and Jessica weren't exactly what you would call "close" anymore. _

_"Hi Jessica… we're not up to much, just, you know, eating some lunch." Bella had an odd feeling that something bad was about to happen. If only she had known… _

_"WellyouseeIjustwantedtoseeifyouwoulddomeafavortonightandcoachmytee-ballteamthegamestartsateightwellthanksgootagobye!" She leaped up and ran back over to sit with Angela. _

_Bella just stared. "Did you guys by any chance catch that?"She took a deep breath, readying herself for the bad news. _

_Edward leaned towards her, "She wants you to coach her tee-ball team tonight at eight. Which, of course, you won't." _

_Alice piped in then. "Wait a minute! Come on Bella! It will be fun, I'll help too. I just love little kids! We can buy them all little matching uniforms and everything. Please say yes! Please, please, please?" _

_Bella sighed reluctantly and shrugged her shoulders. "I guess. Because if I say no, you'll just bug me till I say yes anyway." _

_"Glad you caught on." Then she to hopped up and went to dump her tray. _

_Edward shook with laughter. "You are aware that you hate baseball, and that you can't play it at all, correct? That very well could be interesting… Maybe I'll come by and watch." _

_She glared at him. "I know _I_ can't play softball, but _you_ can. So you can watch from the pitcher's mound, Assistant Coach." That shut him up pretty quick. _

**END FLASHBACK! **

That was how this whole fiasco had begun, and Bella, being the nice person that she was, couldn't say no. Even if Alice wasn't so excited, she knew she still would have ended up doing it. She took one last look in the mirror and hurried down the stairs, only to trip and fall halfway down. But, of course, she didn't hit the ground. Her own personal safety net caught her. Edward swung her up in her arms and walked rest of the way down. She clung to him much tighter than was necessary, but he didn't seem to mind. When she leaned her head down to rest on his chest, she had to hold back a roaring laugh; all that escaped was a giggle.

"What, may I ask, are you giggling at?" But Bella had a feeling that he already knew.

"Nothing, it's just that you look so cute in your little orange uniform." He did in fact look very cute, only Edward could pull off that particular shade of orange.

"I can't believe I actually let you talk me into doing this for you."

"Well, as I recall, there wasn't much talking involved." She winked at him, and he smiled. He sat her down and they nudged noses.

"No, I don't think there was."

It didn't take them long to reach the ballpark; they arrived at 7:00. But they didn't actually make it onto the field until 7:45. The reason (or problem, however you want to look at it) being that Edward could not find a suitable parking place for the Volvo. He couldn't park close to the road, because "A semi could come and hurt her!" The space next to the concession stand was out because "I don't want little slimy children rubbing they're grimy little hands on my paint job." Finally, Bella took it upon herself to find a space.

"Look at that one, there's no dirt, no children, and no other cars." She pointed past the field, Edward followed her finger.

"Bella. That. Is. A. Basketball. Court." He gave her an incredulous look.

"Yes, and you're point is…?"

"I don't think you're allowed to just up and park on it."

"What could possibly happen?" Edward opened up his mouth to list off all of the things that could, and probably would, happen but Bella cut him off.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, you get over there and park! I will personally make sure _you _have to explain to Jessica why I missed the game, and you **_WILL_** volunteer to help for the rest of the season if we are not on the field in two minutes!" Complete silence filled the car, Edward's eyes grew huge. "Please?" She added as an afterthought. He threw the car in reverse and backed out, only pausing for a moment to, once again, make sure there was not a speck of dirt on the court.

"Next time we're taking your truck." Edward mumbled, pulling Bella to him and heading off to what could be the worst day of his life, besides the whole Cliff-Diving thing of course.

The second they reached the field, swarms of little children dressed in orange uniforms ran up to them. Only when they reached them did they notice that something was very wrong. One kid was wearing leg warmers instead of softball socks, another had her hair curled underneath her hat, and one boy even had lip gloss on. Edward immediately tried to rub it off.

"Finally you guys get here! Glad you guys could get off each other long enough to join us!" The kids let out a loud chorus of "EWWWW, COOTIES!"

As a tiny girl with purple eye shadow waddled over, Bella asked, "What did you do to the children?"

"Isn't it obvious? I made them cute!" A smiling Alice pointed out, running up with her own uniform on, but hers was a little bit more PG-13. She had a ripped and torn jean mini skirt on, and had cut her shirt to reveal some skin, her hat was tilted to one side, and she had piles of bracelets on her arms. A pair of bright orange patent leather high heels completed her look. One older boy was staring at her, you could almost see the drool.

Edward glanced up from where he still was trying to rub off the sparkly lip gloss with the edge of his shirt. "Did you even think to ask the parents?"

"Oh, I knew there was something I forgot!" Alice admitted sheepishly.


	2. Aiden

Coaching seemed to be harder than Bella anticipated. The majority of her kids looked like they had just got out of their diaper phase, a fact that was proven by the littlest boy and Edward. Edward had been trying to put the glove on the squirming kid's little hand; he was holding him on his lap, when the kid decided to let the flood start. An aggravated scream of "AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!" reached Bella on the other side of the field. She rushed over as fast as she could, only to find a crying child and a disgusted Edward holding him at arm's length.

"Edward, would did you do to make him cry?" Bella shot him a dirty look, over the boy's curly hair. The boy buried down into her shoulder as soon as she took him from Edward.

"_I_ didn't do anything; _it_ decided to urinate on me." As if to offer proof, he pointed down to the puddle at his feet, Bella giggled, then immediately stopped when she saw Edward's face. The boy hadn't really peed on him, just _by _him. But Edward was covered in dirt.

"Well, you probably scared him." She walked off to the bathroom to clean herself and the boy off. She looked at his name tag, his name was Aiden. Yes, like the band.

It turns out Aiden's mom had thought ahead and brought a change of pants, and Bella was very grateful. After she changed him, and bought him a sucker because she felt bad for him, she went back to the field. Only to find her team in shambles; most of the kids were running around the field, being chased by a very upset Alice.

"Come on, kids! You'll mess up your outfits!" She yelled as she looked over at Bella.

"Alice, where's Edward?' Alice pointed to the Volvo. Bella glanced over; Edward was in the front seat, leaning back against the seat, looking thoroughly relaxed. She stomped over and stood outside the driver's side. Angrily stomping her foot, she tapped on the window. He sheepishly looked over and slowly rolled the window down halfway.

"What, may I ask, are you doing?"

"I am listening to music, would you like to join me?" He patted the passenger seat invitingly.

"No, I have a team to coach, and you're supposed to help me!"

"Bella, that boy went to the bathroom on me!"

"What did you expect? He's three!" She turned around and haughtily stalked off back to the field. She picked up Aiden, who had followed her halfway there, and when she looked down at him, her anger at Edward vanished. This kid was so cute. She decided that he could bat first, carefully sitting him down on his wobbly feet, she came back with a tiny bat for him. Then she felt a tug on her belt loop, looking back she saw a grinning Edward pulling her towards him. His hands slid to the front of her, trapping her against him; she blushed and shivered. He leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"Why don't you let me help Aiden, I would hate for him to fall and mess up his clothes again right after you finished cleaning him up."

"Don't you want to go clean yourself up first?"

"I thought that I would let you clean me up later." He rubbed his hands back and forth across her stomach, making her shiver once again.

"Alright, you need to make up with him anyway. He really doesn't like you right now." He grinned and kissed her throat. Then he slipped the bat out of her hand and waltzed right up to Aiden, who was watching him with anxious eyes.

"Hey little man, why don't you come over here and give Uncle Edward a hug, so Aunt Bella won't make me walk home." Not that he couldn't run faster than she could drive, but he wasn't too hot on letting her drive his Volvo. He got down on his knees and sneakily pulled a Ring pop out of his pocket. "Come on, you know you want it. Just come over here and give me a hug." Aiden quickly waddled over, and from Bella's view, it looked like they were hugging. If only she were that easily fooled, and only if she didn't have a best friend who could see the future, it might have worked. Alice had seen it before Edward had even thought of it, and she had filled Bella in as Edward was walking over to Aiden.

Edward was quite pleased with himself, he was grinning hugely. Now he was back in Bella's good graces, and all was right in the world; to him at least. Then the bleep hit the fan.

"AWW, I see you made up with Aiden." Bella said as she waltzed up beside them.

"Yes, what can I say, I'm just good with kids." He smiled up at her and stood up, meaning to pull her in his arms for a quick rendezvous, but she stepped back and swung Aiden up in her arms all in the same step.

"Anyone can be good with kids if they bribe them with candy!" Edward felt the grin slide off his face. Uh-oh.

"Bad Edward!" Aiden yelled, throwing his Ring pop in Edward's hair, where it was sure to get stuck. Then Bella turned on her heel and sauntered off towards the dugout. Alice flitted by and smacked him upside the head.

"You better be glad that you are for all intensive purposes dead, because I swear, otherwise I would kill you." He growled at her.

"I love you too, dear brother."

**Hee-hee! I love it when Edward screws up, don't you? Aiden is the name of my friend's nephew, he is the cutest thing this side of Candyland! No joke! **


	3. the end!

Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. "Hey, man with the messy hair, why does your lady-friend hate you now?" Edward slowly turned his head from eye-stalking Bella and looked down at another little kid. She was short (of course she was short, she was five!), pudgy, and had wild blond hair. He chose to ignore her. Just because Bella had exiled him to the dugout didn't mean he had to socialize.

Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Over and over again she poked him in the leg. Of course, it didn't hurt him. But it was insanely annoying. "Hey, I was talking to you. Didn't your mommy teach you to be nice?" Maybe if he just kept ignoring her, she would go play in the dirt. Isn't that what little kids did?

Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. Poke. When will it end? Finally, his resolve cracked. "STOP POKING ME!" Everyone knows Edward has some severe anger issues. Can you say therapy? The little girl stopped poking him, and Edward leaned back, eager to get back to eyeing Bella. But then the worst possible thing happened. The little girl plopped on the ground and began to scream. It was an ear-drum bursting scream. Edward saw Bella's head snap up, and he knew he was in for it. Again.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen! What did you do now?" She was livid.

"Bella, she was poking me. Over and over, like this." And he reached out to poke her.

Poke. "How." Poke. "Does." Poke. "That." Poke. "Feel?" Poke. He stopped poking her, satisfied that she got the point.

"Well, did you think to ask her what she wanted before you screamed at her?" She asked, rubbing the spot where he had poked her. He shook his head.

"I knew there was something I forgot to do!" He said sheepishly.

"Don't even think about trying to dazzle yourself out of this one either. How many kids have you made cry today? First Aiden, and now her? Great child skills, Edward. You better be glad you can't have kids, because you would be one bad father!" She put her hand over her mouth, knowing she had gone too far. "Honey, why don't you go out there and go help Coach Alice?" She said, leaning down to talk to the little girl.

The little girl, who had until a moment ago, still been screaming, stuck her tongue out at Edward and waddled her way out of the dugout. Then Bella turned to face Edward. He looked down at his feet.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean that, I was just frustrated with you. How could you make her cry like that? She's only five after all." Her voice was soft.

"She wouldn't stop poking me. I know I'm not doing that well, but I've never had to deal with little kids before. I really am trying." He looked so pathetic just sitting there, that all Bella's anger melted away. And he hadn't even had to smolder his eyes at her.

"Oh, Edward." He looked up at her then, and motioned for her to come over and join him.

"Can I have one more chance Bella? Please." He nuzzled his nose against hers.

"Well, we do need someone to help Aiden on second."

Edward slowly walked out onto the field. He stood face to face with Aiden. (Cue dramatic Western stand-off music.)

"So we meet again, little man." Aiden responded by wiping his nose on his shirt. Edward took another step forward, and got down on his knees. "I'm sorry that I tried to bribe you with candy. And I'm sorry that I yelled at you for peeing on me. Though, you have to admit, that was pretty rude." He spread out his arms. "Can Uncle Edward have a hug?" Aiden, being one, didn't understand a word he said. But babies love hugs, so he stumbled into his arms. Edward hugged him, and thought that maybe kids weren't that hard to understand after all.

"Hey, Edward. Jessica's back early, so we can get out of here!" Bella called to him from up by the Volvo.

"Thank God." Edward said, handing Aiden off to the first person he saw. Then he shot up to the Volvo, and was in the car, and speeding off down the street before Jessica could even say thanks.

"Well, that was certainly interesting." Bella said from the passenger seat.

"Bella, promise me something."

"Alright."

"Never volunteer me for anything that involves kids ever again."


End file.
